Be a Fighter

Recently A LOT of people around me are moving on to "bigger and better things"..

My sister L is leaving for College in 11 days.

A got herself the cuuuuuutest boyfriend.

J is totally done with young womens and thinks she's so above it.. (she's still 17).

E is SOOO talented and knows exactly what skills she wants to pursue.

And here's little old me.. boy-friendless, stuck in highschool, still in young womens, with absolutely no clue what I want to do in my life...

Boys. Granted it would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much easier to just have that one guy yada yada yada. A few weeks ago I told my friend that I just want a guy who likes me (and I like him), who doesn't need to text me at all hours of the day, won't go and do stupid un-mormon things, and will just hang out with me on the weekends.... but in all honesty?

that. sounds. boring. as. crap.

I want that boy who will sweep me off my feet. I want to be his everything.

BUT. I don't want that now. That would just be too easy... I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I'm a fighter who's been through crap and so having the fairytale all of a sudden is not something that I could settle with.

So until then I want to pursue my talents...

One reason why picking specific skills to develop scares me is comparison. I have never been INSANELY good at one thing.. I'm more of a jack-of-most-trades.. so there will always be someone there who's better but I don't care. I'm gonna keep trying.

People all around me are moving on because they think that's what's best for them. But most of them are settling... I don't want to settle. I want to fight.